Zen wants us to live here and now. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is not here, we say. And yet as much as that is true, it is not true.
Being human means, among other things, being aware of space and time and some sort of continuum that passes through the node that is you, rather than you passing through it. Being aware of all that ever reached you and made you who and what you are right now. Not just the bits and pieces you choose to ponder over. All. Being aware of all that originates from you as you are now and right here, with a broad spectrum of possible outcomes and influences far beyond what you can imagine. Yes, that which you try to avoid and do not want included. It is all up to you.
Each one of us is such a node, being life itself. Being truth. Being our own way.
It was Jesus who supposedly said:
I am the way, the truth, and the life. And when you read the conversation Jesus has with his apostles in John 14:1-12 in which this passage occurs, as a conversation you are having with yourself, you might catch a glimpse of the node in space and time that is you.
The Bible as a note to self. To me this one story is a reminder to really try and become fully aware of all that passes through me. No matter how far out in space and time something is, be it in the past or in the future, it defines here and now as I am. Only in being fully aware, I can be truly responsive. Like a quiet string on a precisely tuned violin before the stroke, like the silence before the bird wakes up, like the seashores before the tide moves in. Like a pavement waiting for a foot.
All of the future, all of the history, all of space and time is right here, right now. All there is, all there was, and all that will be is right here, right now. There is nothing missing. It is all here, being me.
And then I get frustrated with something and forget all about it 🙂 I am human. Not a Buddha, not a Bodhisattva, not a Messiah. I want to be comfortable. I want to be appreciated. I depend on that which I perceive as happening outside myself.
And yes, there is striving as well. I strive to leave behind all perceptions, opinions, approvals and disapprovals, and judgements. I strive to become that empty cup, to become that silence of potential just before the bird opens its beak. To become that node which is the way, the truth, the life itself. Before I realize that node, striving is all I have.
To support my striving I will soon participate in the Rohatsu. And I will do my Jukai coming 8th December. Give my intentions a boost. Focus my participation in life on benefit. And perhaps I get a brief notion and a superfluous sense of what I really am.
Off to pack my robes.
May life treat you well. _/|\_