I remember taking refuge in focusing on the movements of a little stream of piss that got away from being mopped up with Juni’s coat. A little trickle that moves freely across the floor with every turn the police van takes. As the van accelerates the narrow stream flows along the edge of my shoe. The van takes a left turn and the trickle starts to cross over to the other side of the floor. David moves his feet out of the way. But in the end he cannot be bothered and Juni’s piss gets to him too.
My breathing is calm. I stopped shivering. I stopped wondering where we are going. I stopped noticing that horrible smell. I stopped worrying about the money and tram subscription in my sock. I just see that trickle moving, until it runs dry. Then I look up, try to look outside. We are not going to the police station nearby. That would have been only an eight minute drive. The van has been driving for at least fifteen minutes now.
We seem to move onto the highway and to be leaving town. What the fuck? What is going on? I check out the faces of the others quickly. Just a quick glance, I try to avoid eye contact. I see nothing. All completely blank. A sombre calm. I do not understand.
I glance into the front of the van. The two police officers are not talking. They are not looking at each other nor at us. There is no communication what so ever going on. I do not hear any radio either. Just engine, wheels, wind, my own heartbeat and silence.
Just before we reach a small town outside the city, the van pulls up in a parking lot. Both the officers leave the van. The back door opens unexpectedly. “Get out.” I am confused. “Get the fuck out of the van!” yells the officer who was driving and he grabs at me. He pulls me out by my collar and I fall on my knees on the pavement. It is some fall and it hurts quite a bit. “Get up!” he shouts and he grabs the handcuffs on my wrists and he pulls me back up on my feet. My heart is raging in my chest from pain and with fear and anger. “You son of a bitch!” I shout at him. He turns me around and slaps me in my face. As I open my mouth to shout at him again, he hits me again. I promptly shut up. “You are this close to being properly arrested, and you see fit to call me names? You want me to check you out right her, now, to find something to arrest you for? Because I will find something!” I subside and lower my eyes. “No, sir.” I stutter “I am sorry.” He turns me around again and takes off the handcuffs. “And now, beat it!” He pushes me out of the way.
The others are not getting any better treatment really. As I, still confused as to what happened, walk away from the scene and I intend to make my way back to the city, I can hear the officers calling each of them names and some of them get hit or worse. I rub my wrists. They hurt. My knees are burning and stinging from that fall from the back of the van. And I am some fifteen or more miles away from where I want to be or I think I want to be. I look up the long bicycle path that leads back into the city. I stop walking and sit down on a crate dumped by the side of the road. I rub my knees. I cry. I bury my face in my arms. I do not want it to be like this. It should not be like this.
“Hey, kiddo, what’s up?” That is David talking. Damn. Him and his crew are here too. I look up. The three police vans are just moving out of the parking lot. It is just us now. A quick count and I see fourteen of us. Some loners disappear quickly into the scrubs along the road. They all have been here before. That is obvious. I am the only rook around. “Are you hurt, girl? Did they hurt you at all?” asks David. I feel sick. Sick to the stomach. Suddenly I turn around, drop to my painful knees again and throw up what ever there was in that almost empty stomach that was bothering me. David picks me up by my arm. “Come on. We’ve got to get you home, love. This is no place for a young girl. I’ll take care of you.”