The doubts about moving into the city crashed on the plans falling apart. Apparently the building I was supposed to live in and work in, more or less as an Unsui, is likely to be sold. And although within a few days the bad news turns less bad, it made it obvious to me that I do want to work as an Unsui, but I’m not yet ready to live in the city.
Cities are busy, smelly, rough, filthy. Too many impulses. Noise, colours, smells. People everywhere and a lot of them are trying to get more of what they have even if they have to use aggression getting it. I’m just not ready to cope with that.
So as soon as I got the bad news, I felt sorry for the plans, sorry for the initiator who’s true dream it was, but not sorry for me. I experienced relief. Much to my surprise. But it was genuine relief.
And immediately I started to make new plans. For every possibility that turns impossible, three new possibilities open up. Or so it seems. So at the moment I’m trying to settle in the very area I currently live. With lush green fields, forests, fields and hills with heather, natural ponds, marshes. Friendly people living life slowly. Working to sustain life, not the other way around. Easy to satisfy.
Bird life! That could be the only reason to want to live here. But there are more. During the winter half year I’ve lived here now, I’ve encountered over thirty types of birds that I recognized. And perhaps more that I didn’t get to see properly or who’s voices I didn’t yet recognize. And now the summer half year is on its way. I’m really looking forward to meeting the rest of the bird population.
So I started again, making new plans, refining my ideas of what I really, really want. Sometimes it takes a big ‘No’ to find out what your ‘Yes’ is all about.