Monthly Archives: March 2011

Moody weather, homeless heart – Haiku #13-15

Leaving the Zen Center behind is moving into the state of home leavers in a more radical form. It brings tears to my eyes. My cheeks keep getting wet. My mood matches the weather fine:

Rain cools and quenches
Magnolia blooms almost
Holds a little back

Wet gray morning
The wind comes from the North
Dew drips herself free

Old male swan
Brown neck and tail dirty belly
Alone doesn’t work *)

My 心臓の心 ? doesn’t remember the houses I lived in. It just sees the swan, hears the song of the curlew drifting in the Northern winds and spots the beginning of the Magnolia flowers. And feels that life’s great.


Originally in Dutch:
*) Regen koelt en lest
Magnolia bloeit bijna
Houdt nog even in

Grijze ochtend nat
De wind komt van het Noorden
Dauw druppelt zich los

Oude zwanenman
Bruine nek en staart buik vies
Alleen wil het niet


Some new haiku – Haiku #9-12

The spring brings out so much life which during winter abides in pure silence and oblivion, that my sense organs don’t know where to focus anymore. During Zazen I don’t get to do any Zazen, especially when I’m sitting outside. The world is just one big Haiku at the moment from which several smaller Haiku can’t help themselves but come to Mind:

Old Oak tree sprouts
Red buds against pure blue
Jay comes home

Restless Spring cheers
The old cat remembers it well
Today sleeps in the sun

Scraps of a ruby ball
Red floats on the horizon
Ice blue field close by

In between the bird songs
Tiny hooves on frozen fields
Ponies having fun *)


Originally in Dutch:
*) Oude eik bot uit
Rode knoppen tegen blauw
Vlaamse gaai komt thuis

Voorjaarsonrust juicht
Oude kat weet het nog goed
Slaapt nu in de zon

Flarden rosse bol
Rood drijft op de horizon
Veld ijsblauw dichtbij

Tussen gezang door
Hoefjes op bevroren veld
Pony’s hebben pret


Big ‘No!’

The doubts about moving into the city crashed on the plans falling apart. Apparently the building I was supposed to live in and work in, more or less as an Unsui, is likely to be sold. And although within a few days the bad news turns less bad, it made it obvious to me that I do want to work as an Unsui, but I’m not yet ready to live in the city.

Cities are busy, smelly, rough, filthy. Too many impulses. Noise, colours, smells. People everywhere and a lot of them are trying to get more of what they have even if they have to use aggression getting it. I’m just not ready to cope with that.

So as soon as I got the bad news, I felt sorry for the plans, sorry for the initiator who’s true dream it was, but not sorry for me. I experienced relief. Much to my surprise. But it was genuine relief.

And immediately I started to make new plans. For every possibility that turns impossible, three new possibilities open up. Or so it seems. So at the moment I’m trying to settle in the very area I currently live. With lush green fields, forests, fields and hills with heather, natural ponds, marshes. Friendly people living life slowly. Working to sustain life, not the other way around. Easy to satisfy.

Bird life! That could be the only reason to want to live here. But there are more. During the winter half year I’ve lived here now, I’ve encountered over thirty types of birds that I recognized. And perhaps more that I didn’t get to see properly or who’s voices I didn’t yet recognize. And now the summer half year is on its way. I’m really looking forward to meeting the rest of the bird population.

So I started again, making new plans, refining my ideas of what I really, really want. Sometimes it takes a big ‘No’ to find out what your ‘Yes’ is all about.


More and more and more

My only option seems to be to move back into the city at the moment. My heart breaks. I’ll suffocate in the noise and stink. I don’t want it. I’d rather be homeless in the country. Every fiber of my body/soul protest at going into a city. I’m not sure I’ll survive moving there.

The stress of the other people, the stink of traffic and industry, the aggression of people trying to get what they want, mostly more of what they have. I’m not up to it.

Why have things turned out like this? Why are most people about more and more? And why am I not like that?

Cities just hurt me to tears.


Ears – Haiku #8

bumble bee in flight

In the middle of sound
A bumble bee buzzes by
Silence once again *)


Originally in Dutch:
*) Midden in geluid
Plots zoemt er een hommel langs
Dan is het weer stil


Global meditation for Japan

Today people all over the world will meditate for Japan. In the Netherlands this will be at noon, 12:00 (which is GMT+1). I’ll participate no matter what I’m doing at that time.

It is not necessary after all to sit. One can meditate in what ever one does:

“She or he who wants to attain peace should practice being upright, humble, and capable of using loving speech. He or she will know how to live simply and happily, with senses calmed, without being covetous, or carried away by the emotions of others.

And this is what she or he contemplates:
May everyone be happy and safe, and may their hearts be filled with joy.
May all living beings live in security and peace—beings who are frail or strong, tall or short, big or small, visible or not visible, near or far away, already born, or yet to be born.
May all of them dwell in perfect tranquility.
Let no one do harm to anyone. Let no one put the life of anyone in danger. Let no one, out of anger or ill will, wish anyone any harm.

Just as a mother loves and protects her only child at the risk of her own life, let us cultivate boundless love to offer to all beings in the entire cosmos. Let our boundless love pervade the whole universe, above, below and across. Our love will know no obstacles, our heart will be absolutely free from hatred and enmity. Whether standing or walking, sitting or lying, as long as we are awake, let us maintain this mindfulness of love in our heart.

This is the noblest way of living.”

Source: Mindfulness Meditation Center


Flitting light – Haiku #7

Luke warm light draws up
A pansy suddenly flaps
Flits lightly away *)


Originally in Dutch:
*) Lauw zonlicht stolt
Plots flapt een viooltje op
Vlindert licht verder